


syneidisi

by venterry



Category: SOMA (Video Game)
Genre: (its mostly canon compliant but with some extra sauce), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, now with more new and exciting mockingbirds and other wauifications
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:21:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26051059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/venterry/pseuds/venterry
Summary: Following the events of the launch, Simon Jarrett is left alone in the depths of the Omega Sector, and forced to confront his feelings on his new existence.While everything may seem hopeless at first, it doesn't have to be.In this story, the Simon at Omicron and most of the other mockingbirds were left alive - additionally "new" mockingbirds based on existing and potential scans will be introduced.
Relationships: Catherine Chun & Simon Jarrett, Emma Alvaro & Richard Thabo, Simon Jarrett & Simon Jarrett
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	syneidisi

**Author's Note:**

> συνείδηση • (syneídisi) - from the Ancient Greek συνείδησις (suneídēsis) - meaning "conscience", a person's moral sense of right and wrong, or "consciousness", the state of being awake and aware of one's surroundings.

It could've been hours, though likely just minutes.

His perception of time really had changed, that much became apparent. Staring at a rotating circle in the center of the small screen, without anything else occupying his mind, it felt both so precise, yet warped.

So, what felt like mere moments and half an eternity ago, they did it - launched the ARK. Even managed to get their scans on it just in time, yet here he was: still stuck at the bottom of the atlantic ocean.

He knew why he was there, and not living his best life within a computer simulated world floating in space. He'd known from the start - or since Omicron, at the very least. It wouldn't help to think about it again, everything's been replaying in his mind over and over, but he didn't want to go there yet, so he focused on the circle again.

The omnitool's faint blue screen was the only light reflecting off his helmet, since he pulled it out of the console. Phi had shut down completely after the launch, it must've taken everything out of the station. Wasn't much of a point to turn on his flashlight while he waited, it would've probably just drained his battery a little faster.

His battery - even after all that time, what a weird thought to have. Would he even notice if it ran out? Would it be immediate, or like an old toy slowly coming to a stop?

The screen froze and turned black, leaving Simon in complete darkness.

"Oh, come on..."

Once again, he tried rebooting the device. The flickering and glitching was still an issue, but as long as it seemed to run, he hoped it'd be fine. He bet Catherine would've known how to fix it.

Despite his best attempts to push it back, his mind kept on practically assaulting him with her yelling, followed by that deafening silence after she burned out. He already felt miserable enough, thinking about their argument only made it worse. Some of it was his own fault - of course he was upset, but he still regretted the things he said. If he hadn't riled her up like that, he wouldn't have had to sit there all by himself, pressing buttons and waiting for something to happen.

Her agitation must've short circuited the cortex chip in a way, he'd seen it before, knew that they're not exactly well equipped to handle the entire range of human emotions full force. Though, he'd noticed the way her file name had become increasingly unreadable, each time he'd plugged her in and out of existence like that. Was it maybe faulty hardware, or something else? The image of seeing himself overload and crash on the spot, because his "body" wasn't designed to hold his mind, briefly came through his thoughts and left a feeling he wasn't willing to embrace.

After everything had gone dark, he grabbed the omnitool to examine it. An error message lit up the screen... as well as the detection of corrupted data. Those little veins of structure gel webbing the cortex chip didn't look too good, from what he was able to tell - it's like their ends withered away. 

So he carefully pried it off, some of the black strands sticking to the slot. The on-board AI - what was it again, "Helper Jane"? - should kick in, once the chip was removed. At least that's what he hoped.

If his left hand hadn't been rotting away inside some messed up AI core, he would've held on to the thing, instead he had to look over his suit for any way to keep it safe on his person. Hooking it up to the ridges and pipes of his midsection didn't seem like it would've worked for long, if at all. Finding no other way, he carefully tucked it between his right knee pad and the flexible material underneath that. As long as he was mindful about his movement, it should be fine. A small bag or belt of some kind was definitely going on his list of priorities.

Then it was just him, still in the pilot seat, staring at a little circle turning for an indefinite amount of time, with nothing but the unsettling creaking of metal and indistinct calls of WAU's abominations to keep him company. The pressure of 4000 meters of sea water pushing down on his suit came pretty close to how he felt.

It stopped and he was sure it froze again, then it switched to the words "Reboot Complete - Welcome L. Meuron", the last letter stretching across the screen. He slumped back in relief, that was one problem taken care of, though the glitching likely wasn't a good sign.

A small price to pay, if he'd still be able to pass through the other sites again... first he actually had to find a way out of Phi's launching platform.

With the airlock down, he wouldn't be able to enter the main building - prying it open was definitely out of the question. While the dome itself was essentially just an open cage, the walls were too high and the drop below too far to reach the edge. The beam of his flashlight flickered and illuminated the console in front of him, as he slowly got up to take a better look around.

There was the space gun across the platform, it reached all the way out of the dome, but he had no way of knowing if the drop from there would be safe. Not like he had much of a choice though, the power suit wasn't exactly made for swimming, especially at that depth. Since the launch, he didn't really have a plan or objective anymore, but it wasn't going to involve rotting away in the abyss. He'd get back on the plateau, somehow, and figure out the rest afterwards.

The weak light followed the barrel from the railing to the edge - it was a bit of a climb, but one he should've been able to manage. Mindful of Catherine's chip, he clambered up and along the massive space gun, a loud groan following his movement. Not exactly promising, but there didn't seem to any issue, as he quickly reached the end of it.

Holding on to the metal frame, he peered down and saw nothing but darkness, the edges of his vision subtly tearing up, just like at Omicron. Simply jumping would be a  _ very _ bad idea, with the amount of pressure surrounding him, and no way of knowing how far the ocean floor was. Walking around the dome, towards the station attached to it, seemed like the safer route to take from there.

Awkwardly clinging to the metal poles, he slowly made his way around the frame, keeping his view limited to his arms. The temptation to look down grew with each step.

"Careful, Simon..."

Eventually the edges of the main building came into view. Hard to say how long it took him, but it wasn't easy with one hand missing and the other holding the omnitool. He dropped onto the roof below, careful not to slip right off. At least the walk towards the front was easy enough, there wasn't much of a way to climb down though, so he stepped off the edge, and hoped the fact he's underwater would take some force out of the fall.

It did, to some degree. His vision shifted back into place, and he noticed Catherine's chip floating along the current by him. Why didn't those suits come with some kind of pockets? At least something to attach the omnitool to, would've seemed like a good idea.

The chip didn't get too far, before he tucked it back against his knee. Some of the lights outside of Phi were still working, the rest was either flickering, or broken. Tau should be straight ahead from the entrance, if those maps he'd seen were accurate, so he wouldn't be able to miss it, really. Though, the issue wasn't necessarily losing the path, but rather the dozen of aggressive fish, mutated beyond recognition.

Would the WAU slowly "dying" affect them at all? He had no way of knowing if Ross' plan actually worked - didn't like the idea of his arm getting mangled for nothing, though.

That freight train of a squid could be heard calling in the distance, no point in sticking around much longer and testing his luck. The strong torrents, coming from that fault line around Alpha, had subsided a little - it should make his trek somewhat faster.

The walk itself was more of a blur, unable to see much beyond his light's reach, he just kept following broken lamp post after broken lamp post. The worst part was probably the silence, like something was ready to jump him at any moment. His vision would freak out every now and then too, it was hard to tell whether that was his own anxiety, or something lurking in the dark and messing with his circuits. Likely both.

Once the walls of Tau became visible, he picked up his pace. For a brief moment, he considered going inside, taking a break and bracing himself for the journey to the climber, but decided against it. There was nothing left for him inside, he'd seen everything there was to see. Not to mention the uncomfortable sight of the dead and semi-alive people, disfigured by the WAU's structures, as well as the body of Sarah Lindwall. The site wasn't much different to a tomb now... minus that shambling horror in a power suit.

Entering Tau was definitely not going to happen.

Walking along the wall, he tried mentally retracing his steps from the climber. There were two small buildings of sorts, that he could stop by - use them to rest and as way pointers. Then there was that entire part with the spider caves. He wondered if it would be a good idea to try those, the angler fish was likely still there. It wasn't exactly fast like others, but if he wasn't careful, it might've managed to sneak up on him. He would have to take his chances.

Finding those caves wasn't as easy as it first seemed, he ended up getting turned around a few times and walking back towards Tau. You would think being a robot would give him a better memory or something, perhaps another part of his mind trying not to overwhelm him. It wasn't until he noticed a tube by one of the lights and decided to follow it, that he stumbled into the entrance – or exit – of the cave system. Once inside, all he had to do was follow the glow sticks left behind.

"Like Hansel and Gretel following their bread crumbs back home... better hope I don't end up lost, though."

Just as he thought about how comparably well his little journey was going, he noticed some of the sea spiders suddenly scuttling past him and crawling into crevices along the walls. He turned and immediately saw the faint light swimming towards him, the green glow beneath revealing rows of spindly teeth.

" _ Shit _ ."

Jumping into half a sprint, he quickly made his way out of the caves and ducked into a fold along the rock, trying to calm himself while he waited for the fish to pass. Almost leisurely, it swam out and away from him, seemingly unaware of his presence - better safe than sorry, though.

From what he had seen, some of its fins almost looked like  _ hands _ – he never got a good look at its front, which was probably for the best, but he could've sworn he saw something like a face on there. Just what exactly was the WAU trying to achieve with that? He'd noticed it in some of the other fish around the abyss as well. Faces, arms... like echoes of the human body. It was beyond creepy.

Once it seemed safe enough, he slowly went back to following the lights. The water had significantly calmed down, spotting the broken poles was a little easier, but in turn made it clear just how open that segment was. He hated feeling so exposed. Keeping that stun gun from Delta would've been a fantastic idea.

At that time he was too preoccupied with the thought of harming another robot, when he himself was technically one, to take it. He should've just kept looking around for a tool chip, even if it would've been a waste of time. Solely blaming Catherine seemed like the easier thing to do, but he's not that ignorant – in the end it was his choice. Always has been.

The distinct hiss of a swarm of fish sweeping past, pulled him out of his thoughts. That was another problem he'd like to push away. Viper fish, or whatever they once were, circled around a thermal vent, before shooting straight for him. No lights to help him now, so he made a run for it - or tried to.

Quickly taking cover behind some rocks, whenever they got too close, only helped so much. It's like their level of aggression was amped up, similar to the giant squid after Alpha.

Running like that really took a toll on him. Not like he had been much of a runner before, but this was different. He still wasn't sure if he actually breathed anymore, or if it was something else, either way, it was beginning to become increasingly hard. As if, after everything he'd been through, his makeshift body finally decided to break down.

Then, what had to be the lights of a smaller building slowly came into view – he was so close.

Two more vents and he could confirm it was that place with the robot garage. It may have been pretty open, but hopefully the lights would keep those critters away. Ready to sprint, the shimmer of something cutting the corner, made him stop for a second. He wasn't sure what he was looking at, until it turned against the light and his mind pieced it together.

It was a fish, a massive one.

Not gigantic, but at least the size of a person. Of course it couldn't have been that easy.

He could hear the swarm approaching and jumped behind the next thermal vent, the other fish seemed to have reacted to that. Considered his options, he pressed himself against the rock and pipes, while it slowly turned towards him.

It looked surprisingly normal – still very strange, but not in the "fucked up by the WAU and structure gel" kind of way. The body seemed somewhat translucent, notably around the head, with the orange light oddly reflecting against the fins. It had no eyes, though.

Long barbels around its mouth coiled like worms, then suddenly grew stiff. It lunged and he had no time to react, it was too fast, causing the glitches in his vision to spike. There was a loud, yet muffled crunch, but it didn't come from  _ his _ body. One of the viper fish was trapped between long fangs, while the rest dispersed like a firework. With two gulps the whole thing was gone, and Simon was left to stare in shock, as the ghost fish swam into the darkness.

"...christ..."

His hollow breathing ringed in his mind, he had to keep going, but couldn't bring himself to move. Body partially squeezed into a large crevice around the vent, it felt both too heavy and disconnected. It wasn't the worst he'd experienced ever since first waking up in that place, yet he felt stuck in a way. Some part of him knew it wasn't because of the fish, though. He hadn't realized how badly he wanted to close his eyes, just for a moment.

Remembering Catherine, he reached for the space under his knee pad, the chip was still there.

"God... I'm sorry, Cath."

He knew it's busted, there was no way of knowing whether he'd be able to "fix" her, if she could get fixed at all. Still, he wanted to hold on to it. The thought that, in a way, she was still with him... it gave him some comfort.

If he knew of a way to get the chip to work again, he wouldn't hesitate to do so.

Perhaps... that could be his new objective for now. Not just getting out of the abyss, but finding a way to bring her back. He was able to restore corrupted data on some of the terminals, maybe it would work the same way. Part of him felt like it was selfish, dragging her back into this nightmare, just so he wouldn't have to feel alone, but another part genuinely wanted to talk to her again... and apologize.

They had left things on such a bitter note, he hated the idea that his last memory with her would be yelling at each other, because he was too stubborn to accept that this was it.

The thought hit him harder than he expected. This was it.

He'd been trying to push it down for so long, desperately holding on to the hope, that somehow, despite everything pointing against it, he'd be able to escape it. Until the the very last moment, that confirmed it would've never worked that way. He had been angry with Catherine, for not drilling it into him sooner; angry at all the little ideas and Continuity bullshit of the dead members of Pathos-II, which just fed more into that twisted hope. Though, most of all... he was just angry with himself, really.

And then he pushed it all on her, as if she could've magically changed the way the scans work. Why did he have to be such an idiot sometimes?

Tube worms swayed against the glass of his helmet, covering some of his light. Feeling calmer, he carefully got up and continued down the path. No signs of anything out to get him... so far.

Without further problems, he made it to the observatory, and eventually the climber station. In a way, he could probably thank the weird fish for that, though if he saw it again, he'd still try to keep a good distance.

Colorful jellyfish were still floating around the platform, glowing peacefully and entirely unaware of everything that's been going on down there. Made him almost jealous.

Entering the climber, he found it just the way he left it, though some crabs seemed to have decided to explore it. Plugging the omnitool into the console, he waited for the screens to light up. Nothing happened and he worried it was unusable after all, then the main screen displayed a message in those standard pale blue letters.

[No scheduled rides available.]

" _ Fuck _ , you've got to be kidding me."

There was the faintest memory of reading somewhere, that rides for the ACR had to be scheduled from Omicron... which was an incredibly inconvenient system, if there was no one up there to do that. Didn't Catherine plan for that? Even if he was in denial about it, she knew they'd be stuck down there after the launch. Or did she not expect them to return at all..

"Damn it, Catherine! I don't want to rot away down here!"

He fell back into one of the empty seats, hand covering his vision. It startled a few of the crustaceans around him, leaving him to linger alone in the climber.

All that way, and he'd be stuck at the last step? There had to be another way. Even if he had to climb his way out of that hole, he was  _ not _ staying down there, waiting for some fucked up deep sea monster to come and eat him.

If there had actually been anyone left at Omicron, he would've tried using the comms, but the only one alive in that station is that pissed off crab girl, and...

"Shit."

Himself.

He almost forgot about the other Simon, or rather, had been trying to suppress it. Left in the pilot seat, to wake up trapped in a room, with a monster waiting on the other side of the door – because he couldn't do it.  _ He _ had been the one to bring up the idea to end him, the first copy, then and there... but in the end, the thought just made him sick.

The ARK was a good enough distraction – and excuse – not to think about it. Now, there was nothing to hold his conflicted feelings down. 

If he waited, the Simon at Omicron would eventually wake up - most likely confused. Betrayed. Unable to leave or do anything without an omnitool, unless that circuit-patchwork of a human snapped and decided to bust through the door somehow. It was horrifying.

He had to get up there. He owed it to himself. His other self.

He didn't even realize he was pacing inside the climber. Yanking the omnitool out of the console, he made his way outside and looked around the station. Climbing up the cables briefly came to mind, but there was no way he could do that in his current state. Who knows how long it would take, too? Then again... what other options did he have?

Maybe finding one of those robots, like the one from the garage earlier, and figuring a way to carry him up... No, he had better chances climbing up the cliff itself.

Either way, he decided to take another look around the place and just see what he'd find, he could make up his mind later. Something to keep the omnitool on him, so he'd have at least one free hand, might've been a good idea. A bag would be ideal, but even some cloth or rope should do.

Why did everything always have to end up being a lot more complicated?

Inside the various metal sheds, shelves were filled with all kind of junk - mostly just empty containers and tools he didn't know how to use. It ended up feeling like a waste of time, made sense, too. The people down there likely took anything useful they could find a long time ago. Damn, maybe he should've went into Tau after all.

While half halfheartedly going through a large container, with nothing but canisters of some kind inside, a shadow seemed to pass over him and he froze. His vision spiked and he could hear his own breathing picking up again. There really was no concept of a "break" down there.

It was disconcertingly quiet, a few moments later, he moved towards the exit. Was it just his vision messing up? Stepping out and looking around, everything seemed the same as before, but he was still on edge. Turning back, that's when he saw it: a moving cone of light shining against the rocky terrain, somewhat obscured by the small building he was previously in.

A robot? It could be the one he used before, if it didn't fully break after being scooped up by that leviathan - but why would it come here? He had to be careful, if it was another of those  _ bad _ ones...

He pressed himself against the wall, as it slowly came into view and almost made him jump in surprise.

The  _ DUNBAT _ .

What in the world was it doing down there? Or... they? The last time he'd seen it – or rather... his other self?  _ That _ was an uncomfortable thought, he definitely wasn't ready for yet – it was at Theta, swinging and screaming, before plunging into the moon pool below.

Undoubtedly calmer, the DUNBAT seemed to survey the area. Would approaching be a good idea? He'd have to try it - if anything, it didn't look like it'd fit into one of the buildings, so he could retreat there.

Moving out into the open, yet remaining close enough to the entrance of the shed next to him, he waved awkwardly with the omnitool and tried greeting it.

The DUNBAT instantly turned around to face him.

"Oh", it said, "You... seem normal."

He wasn't sure how to respond, so he just uttered a short "Likewise?".

"Please... I'm a talking machine. Not exactly 'normal', if you ask me."

It swam past the building and towards him, making him fight the urge to back up and instead decide to pick up his voice.

"Well, so am I. Technically. And given from what I've seen, 'talking machine' seems to be a bit of a common occurrence around here."

The DUNBAT swayed in silence.

"Huh. Guess you got a little luckier than me then...", it shifted a little, "Except for that arm."

Instinctively he pulled it up into view. It really was a bit of an eyesore, the Simon back in Toronto would've probably thrown up just looking at it like that. He considered his next words, before speaking again.

"I was... there, you know. At Theta. I was going to use the DUNBAT to come down here... and essentially powered you up. I didn't know, I'm sorry."

"Oh... Well, yeah. I didn't really notice anyone, since I was sort of... freaking out. Seems like you had to take the long way down, sorry about that."

"No, it's alright. I understand... What's your name?"

"Nathan. Grau, Captain of Port at Lambda. At least, that's what I was before. What about you?"

He hesitated for a moment. Answering that question used to be easy enough before, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. Especially after thinking about the other Simon, the one before him. It really wasn't the time to consider the concept of Two Simons, though. He would have to think about that -  _ really _ think about that - later, while there wasn't someone waiting for an answer across him.

"S... Jarrett.", he eventually replied.

"Jarrett?"

"...Yeah."

The DUNBAT, Nathan, moved a little closer.

"Stationed at?"

"Nowhere. It's a long story."

He gestured with the omnitool around him and continued, "So, Nathan, what are you up to down here?"

The whirr of his engine grew a little louder, as he turned and slowly began swimming along the path.

"...Well, I expected to be safe on the ARK, instead, I was hanging over the moon pool at Theta. I immediately knew something went wrong."

Simon followed him and they moved towards the climber.

"When I eventually calmed down, I needed to know what happened. Everything's deserted... I've only found bodies. Tell me, is... is everyone dead?"

There was a pause, as he wasn't sure what to say, but the truth would likely be the best.

"...Yes. I'm sorry. I don't think there's anyone... human left. Just others like us."

Nathan stopped and turned to face him, the headlights almost blinding from that close.

"I had a feeling... Really hoped it wasn't going to be the case, though. Damn! They're all gone...", his voice wavered.

"Hey...", Simon started, but was cut off.

"I'm okay. It just...  _ sucks _ . God."

He sounded like he was going to cry, but then started moving up the path again.

"Jarrett, what are  _ you _ doing down here?"

"I had some things to take care of, now... I'm just trying to find a way back up."

"You can't use the ACR?"

"No."

He paused for a second, tilting towards the platform, as if he was considering his answer, and then just said: "Oh. I see. I'm sorry to hear that."

They didn't say anything for a while afterwards, and just kept moving together. He had to admit, it was nice talking to someone again. That way his mind wouldn't keep jumping back to thoughts he'd rather leave alone for now.

"I'm essentially the DUNBAT now, right?", Nathan spoke up again, startling him.

"Uh, yeah."

"I... don't really have anything to do, so I guess I could give you a lift, if you'd like?"

Simon stopped in surprise.

"You'd do that? I mean, that'd be okay with you?"

"I'd honestly rather not think about it too much, or I might change my mind."

"Right."

It took a moment, then air pushed out of small openings, and the hood of the DUNBAT lifted up.

"Just don't do anything weird in there. This is already weird enough..."

"Yeah, of course... Thank you, Nathan."

"Don't mention it."

He awkwardly clambered into the seat and the hood closed back down. There was a console with several buttons on either side of him, as well as what he assumed to be two control sticks. He was able to spot a slot for the omnitool, so if they actually had used the DUNBAT, he'd imagine Catherine would've done most of the work - otherwise he likely would've run that thing into the ground a couple of times.

The climber station gradually moved out of view and they made their way to the top, passing the bioluminescent jellyfish and other critters floating in the depths.

Looked like luck was on his side one more time... now he just had to brace himself for what's to come.


End file.
